Helping Friends Who Suffer a Miscarriage

If you have a friend who has had a miscarriage, here are some ways you might be able to help her.  Again, every person is unique but here are some things that helped our family:

  • Crying . . . a lot . . . with each other and with close friends
  • Friends who let us know they were praying for us
  • Friends who had experienced baby loss themselves and empathized with us
  • Friends who helped us practically – meals, taking our children so we could rest or have time together as a couple
  • Friends who did not ignore the subject but let us be real, asked how we were doing, even months later and did not expect us to “get over” our loss quickly
  • Friends that acknowledged the baby as a person, referring to our “baby” or our “child”
  • Friends that acknowledged our baby’s due date and realized that was a tough time for us

Things that I that helped me:

  • Writing a letter to the baby
  • Keeping cards or special things related to the baby and miscarriage in a folder
  • Writing and journaling my thoughts, feelings and prayers (see Reflections)
  • Attending a Saying Goodbye service (see here)
  • Reading the Psalms, over and over and underlining many verses
  • Reading books (see Resources)
  • Emailing and sharing my feelings honestly with a few close friends (these friends included both those who have had miscarriages and those who have not)
  • Having a little memorial for our baby on the due date
  • Memory items  . . . (necklace and framed wall hanging) . . .these are tangible reminders of the preciousness of our baby’s life
  • Time . . . and the gracious, loving, healing, hand of our Father